ACCORDING TO ME- music that promotes sexism to the teen masses

According to you
Im stupid
Im useless
I can’t do anything right
According to you
Im difficult
hard to please
forever changing my mind

While I would commend Orianthi for producing a hit song that (in some ways) combats verbal abuse, I have plenty of problems with her break out song, “According to You”.

First of all, this song combats the verbal abuse in this hypothetical relationship by turning it around, “according to me, you’re stupid, you’re useless…” Aren’t we big girls here? The reversal of verbal abuse does not make it go away, or any better, or justifiable.

But my biggest problem with this song is the chorus, “According to HIM…” NO! No, no, no! This is a problem that has infected many middle and high school aged American girls- seeking justification or healing from abuse through another relationship. Because a woman’s identity development often revolves around her relationships, teen girls often seek resolution for their insecurities through finding and maintaining relationships with boys and/or “trading up” for boyfriends higher on the popularity, or cuteness scale.

Because of this, dating in high school is hardly liberating for girls- they are constantly pressured to be in a relationship to be reassured that they are pretty or worthy of love. This is also a reason that many teen girls succumb to the pressure to have sex, or participate in other potentially hazardous activities.

So the question is- why are songs like this so popular? Do we ignore sexism simply for catchy lyrics and rhythm? Has listening to music become such a passive activity that we ignore the message it sends?